Emotions

E-motions are simply energy in motion, so it’s natural for us to experience our emotions passing through. For many of us however, emotions get stuck and cause pain, confusion and frustration.

 

I believe that the two most common reasons emotions get stuck is because we either get too attached to them or because we ignore them. Are you super-sensitive to your emotions sensing your way through your life and find it hard to function at times because the force of them is so strong? Perhaps you put a lot of time and energy into telling yourself and others about your emotional process and you’re attached to your emotional wounds.

Or do you belong to the other camp, paying your emotions no attention at all, focusing your attention more on your mind, body, career, family or social life? Maybe you avoid your emotions through an addiction to work, alcohol, drugs, food or sex.

Love them or hate them, I believe that our emotions are the best guide to our Soul’s unfolding. The key is developing enough detachment to watch our emotions ebb and flow and welcome them as friends that guide us into greater connection with ourselves rather than enemies that are trying to ruin our lives!

Some people carry a lot of fear about looking at their emotions because they perceive it will be difficult and painful and inevitably involve digging into the past, bringing up old wounds and re-experiencing difficult times. Actually I find that when we truly get in touch with our emotions; the absolute core of them, the release can be instantaneous. My philosophy is to get in touch with what’s calling for your attention in one way or another and then let it go. Move on. Don’t stay stuck in old stories, learn the lesson and you will move forward with more joy, energy and greater flow. Emotions only cause us pain when they get stuck so I’m sharing 5 secrets for unblocking them.

 

1. Listen to your body

Our bodies are a wonderful guide to how we’re really feeling. Our bodies tell it how it really is. Our minds can play all manner of confusing games but our bodies don’t lie. Louise Hay said: “The body, like everything else in life, is a mirror of our inner thoughts and beliefs. Every cell within your body responds to every single thought you think and every word you speak.” Pain, discomfort or imbalance in your body tell you about how you’re feeling on an emotional level. Our body calls for our attention when it needs to.

Feeling tired and heavy physically – is there anything you’re emotionally weary of but not noticing? 

Pains on the left (feminine) side – is there an area of life where you need to use your intuition, nurturing or creativity more? 

Pains on the right (masculine) side – it’s likely you need to pay more attention to your masculine qualities of thinking, action, and initiating. Any tension in your shoulders? They’ll carry the burden of responsibility if you’re taking on too much. 

Stomach problems: ask yourself if it’s fear? Over-sensitivity? Problems setting clear boundaries with others? Is there something going on in life that you literally can’t stomach? Sore throat – is there a difficult conversation you need to have with someone; perhaps you need to speak your truth more?  

Look honestly at your body and tune into what it’s trying to tell you.

 

2. Embrace strong emotions

Do you find yourself running away from your emotions saying “I’m not angry” when you’re seething inside or “that doesn’t bother me” when your feelings have been so hurt you feel as if you’ve been ripped open? If it hurts, then the emotional pain is still there regardless of what you say to the contrary. It’s easier to get in touch with our emotions when we embrace them. When a strong emotion comes into your awareness this is a wonderful opportunity for self awareness so don’t fight it when you have a strong emotional reaction to something.

Most of us feel comfortable at the thought of embracing ‘positive’ emotions – joy, excitement etc. Few of us relish the thought of embracing loneliness, fear, anger, resentment, emotional neediness or other so-called ‘negative emotions’. It is one thing to allow yourself to feel emotions in a safe way, it’s another to act them out. It takes discernment to allow ourselves to get in touch with our feelings without taking them out on others. When we stop running and embrace our emotions they release and stop bothering us. I think this video of Simon’s Cat is a wonderful metaphor for how our emotions can be persistent, clawing for our attention until we notice.

 

3. Clear the mind and emotions become clearer too

Meditation is the best way I’ve found to get in touch with emotions because you are consciously creating a quiet space where the mind becomes quiet and the distractions are no longer able to distract. As the mind becomes quiet you will find emotions coming into your awareness. Ask yourself “how am I feeling?” Allow your emotions to be noticed. Just notice not expecting them to be ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Today am I angry, fearful, excited, confident, worried, depressed, lonely…. Just notice and accept. Next time you meditate, observe whether are you feeling the same or whether is there a different emotion in this quiet space. They ebb and flow, they come and go. Get into the habit of noticing them without attachment.

 

4. Distill it down to the simple truth

What have you been telling your friends about this week that has pushed your buttons? Perhaps someone stole your parking place, pushed past you in the shops, or didn’t listen to you? “My son’s teacher doesn’t listen to anything I say and the bullying is continuing and Amazon haven’t delivered the stuff I ordered”. Notice the story you tell to others or replay in your own head– this person did that and it made me furious … Stop telling the story and read between your own lines. Distill it down to the simple truth of how you feel, just one word that really gets to the heart of it. “I feel powerless.”

Perhaps you’re keeping your worries inside and they go round and round in your head like a hamster on a wheel. You want to set up your own business but you’re worried that you won’t be able to make a living from it, You don’t know if you’ve got what it takes and fear that you might fail and look ridiculous. Distill it down to the simple truth of how you’re feeling. “I feel scared”. When you hit the simple truth and see it for what it is you’ll feel the relief of inner recognition. Find one word that expresses how you truthfully feel and really allow yourself to sit in the simple truth of that. Accept it, it’s not so bad. Looking it in the eye goes a huge way to releasing it.

 

5. See the reflection and own it

When someone else pushes your buttons, whether by annoying you or hurting your feelings, it’s yours to integrate. Own the reaction as yours and you’ll feel a huge emotional release. I want to share a story from my life where this happened. I have a friend with no interest in flower essences or personal growth and sees my beliefs as somewhere between ridiculous and irrelevant – he nicknames me Wacko Jacko and regularly tries to find me a ‘proper job’. This has often led to difficult conversations between us and historically it pained me that he didn’t respect my life choices. When he suggested I got a job in a call centre rather than focusing on this ‘flower essence nonsense’ it really pushed a button for me and I was hurt and furious. I wanted to process my feelings of anger and indignation but the truth was that it hurt me that I’d always believed in him, yet he didn’t believe in me.

Looking honestly at myself, I brought my hurt feeling back home to own it. I turned it round and asked myself truthfully if it hurt because I didn’t believe in me. That felt so deep and true. Suddenly the tension and pain left the situation with that self-awareness. By seeing the pain for what it was, it dissolved. I had been stuck in an old story about lack of self belief, and when I looked at that I realised it didn’t fit any more. It no longer mattered whether he believed in me or not because I now believe in myself. When you truly believe in yourself you don’t need validation from anyone. So whatever button someone seems to be pushing for you, bring it back home and own it. You have the power to stop it hurting. Get in touch with the part of you that is being reflected back to you in difficult relationships and the pain will flow away.

If you need further support unblocking your emotions, a consultation is the perfect way to do so. You have an opportunity to get in touch with what’s bothering you while I hold a safe space for your truth to emerge. The essences I prescribe provide ongoing support after the consultation, enabling you to release on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. If you’re interested in taking essences but don’t want a consultation I recommend intuitive diagnosis by email where I’ll select a combination of essences to get to the heart of the matter.

© 2011 Jackie Stewart. First published in Essence of Wild newsletter January 2011.